I see how life is drained from the world around me. You watch the falling leaves with something special in your eyes; to you, it’s beautiful.
I share your thoughts of natures beautiful change, but I can’t help to think about what’s really going on. It’s death.
There is no need to deny it; I see death wherever I turn my head. The joy is still there though, but I’ve been more observant for these changes, the natural process of life and death.
In times of doubt, I think “You’re too young”. But death have no restrictions, life have.
To know that death is always presence is probably one of the “bad parts of growing up”. I want to find peace, not to be scared.
The feelings toggle. The afterlife is nothing I believe exists; when we die, we die. We rot. We decompose and turns into the earth we ones came from.
Somehow it’s a bit rough. An afterlife would be comforting. To know that my friends and long gone relatives is in “some better place”.
I never believed in heaven, nor hell. Sometimes I wish I could believe in a “higher power”, it would make the thoughts much easier to handle. But “afterlife” is most likely just a projection of the humans fear for the unknown.